Is the grass really greener?

Let's face it, all moms work.  Whether you have chosen to work outside of the home or stay home, there is no luxury in either choice.  I have to admit, I used to be one of those women who thought that all of my stay at home mom friends were just a bunch of cry babies.  In my mind, they were living large by staying home.  They had a "cush" job, yet all I ever heard from them is how hard things were and how they never got anything done around the house...blah blah.  I wanted to scream at them and say, "ya, well cry me a river...I work an 8 hour job outside the home and then come home to try to get done what you have had all day to get done...housework!" 

Oh silly me!  Having jumped the fence to become a stay at home mom, I was convinced that my life would get easier.  I thought that I had landed the jackpot by finally convincing my husband that I needed to stay home.  Boy was I fooled by the seemingly green grass on this other side of the fence. 

My day starts the same as it did when I was working outside the home, but the course of the day consists of just as much work (sometimes even more challenging work) as when I was working outside the home.  I am up at 5am making bottles, changing diapers, giving baths and singing songs.  Sounds like fun huh?  It is surely more fun than dropping the kids off at daycare, rushing into the office, checking your email that flooded in overnight, and prepping for your day filled with meetings and agendas.  Hmmm...I am not sure about that.

In some ways, I long for the structure that my day had when I was working outside the home.  I miss the responsibility of conference calls, meetings, deadlines, and emails.  Mostly, I miss the adult interaction.  I miss the conversations with my co-workers about work related issues or sometimes non-work related issues.  Here is how I break this down....working outside the home is definitely a difficult job.  You sacrifice time with your kids, master the technique of multi-tasking, sometimes bring your stressful work home with you, have the pressures of deadlines and expectations and many other difficulties.  However, working at home (being a stay at home mom) is equally as difficult.  Instead of office related deadlines, my deadlines circle around my children.  What time they need a nap, how long to keep them awake and entertained, when to feed them, what to do when one or both have a melt down, and how to get the laundry and dishes done, dinner cooked and the house picked up before my husband gets home - these have become my daily deadlines.

Yes, I get to stay home and some days I don't ever get out of my pajamas.  I do have an hour to spare writing this blog because the kids are sleeping (but I am sacrificing time I could be using to clean the house).  I do get to spend time with my kids all day.  But I don't get a free minute for a coffee break, or a minute to run to the store after work before I pick the kids up from daycare, or time to hang out in a co-workers office for 5 minutes to just chat.  I don't get "kid-free" time and I definitely don't get paid for my hard work at home.  Throughout the whole day I have two children looking at me to entertain them, to be responsible for them, to ensure that they get the much needed structure that kids crave.  I feel like I am tethered to them all day and I don't get a break.  Some days I don't have time for a shower.  Some days I don't have time to even sit down and eat lunch.  In fact, some days the first meal I get to eat is dinner.  I love my children, but they can wear me out in a quick minute!

Moms everywhere do work, even if you stay at home.  I was under the impression that stay at home moms lived such an easy life compared to a mom who worked outside the home....until I became one myself.  The point of this is don't judge others, don't envy others, and don't assume that the grass is always greener until you have walked on their grass!