3 weeks of Mommyhood

I can't believe I actually made time to sit down and write a blog, but it is long overdue.  Three, seemingly long, weeks ago I brought our beautiful children, Knox and Kaitlyn, into this world.  Well technically speaking, our Heavenly Father brought them safely into this world, I just did all the hard work!  On December 2, 2010 at 6:12 pm and 6:13 pm our babies were born via c-section and we became parents.  I was quite scared because the doctors all agreed that I needed a C-Section that very day because Knox had wiggled himself into a very compromising position and needed to be born ASAP.  **Side note - these are not the most flattering pictures of me, but for documentation purposes, I decided to add them.  Maybe looking at them in the future will remind me that I don't really need to be pregnant again!

The thought of major abdominal surgery while awake just terrified me, as well as the thought of my babies being in distress.  So, I put my "big girl panties" on and went into the surgery room with a brave face.  However, I did cry the whole time I was getting the epidural (so much for the big girl panties).  As I lie on the operating table waiting for Kris to join me, I thought about the moment and how I soon wouldn't be pregnant anymore, but I would be hearing my children cry for the first time.  I began to cry just thinking about it.

Surgery wasn't so bad - it was a little strange feeling the doctors push and pull and my tummy but as soon as they pulled Kaitlyn out of me and I heard her screaming, I felt that instant mommy sensation.  The one that only a mom can relate to....the feeling of complete joy and extreme concern for the life that was just brought forth.  I couldn't see her at first until they got her all cleaned up and vitals checked.  But while she was being cleaned up, the doctors were working on Knox.  They brought her over to me for a quick second, but I couldn't hold her...only kiss her small beautiful face that looked very similar to my own.

One minute sure did seem like thirty minutes, but exactly one minute after Kaitlyn was born, Knox was pulled from my tummy.  The doctor had to literally turn him inside of me to get him in the correct position before being born.  This was a weird and nauseating feeling but it didn't last long.  Soon enough Knox was here.  However he wasn't screaming like Kaitlyn.  In fact he wasn't crying at all.  Fear and panic set in over me as I anxiously waiting to hear our son cry.  I didn't get to see him or hold him for another 4 hours.

I have to say, Kris was a trouper through it all and he even peeked over the surgery curtain to witness our children being born.  I would have passed out if I was him, but he was so excited.  Both Kaitlyn and Knox were rushed to the nursery with their daddy following right behind.  I was left behind to get stitched and stapled back up.

4 hours of waiting in my recovery room seemed like eternity and I began to get very nervous that something was wrong with our babies, but they were so healthy that they required no NICU time at all.  The nurses brought them to us in our room and for the first time, I got to hold our precious angels.  It was such an amazing feeling just looking at God's creations blew me away.  They were perfect in every way and I was in love!

So the long awaited event had finally come and passed and all our family members were so excited to see our precious angels.  Bringing them home was a scary thing....there were no more nurses, doctors or specialists to help with questions or concerns.  We were parents and we were on our own.  I quickly thought that someone should write a book or instruction manual on what to do during those first couple days.  It is hard to believe that something like this doesn't exist.  Hmmmm....maybe I just landed on a money pot idea....?!?!?

Anyhow, Knox and Kaitlyn were getting acclimated to mommy and daddy and mommy and daddy were trying to figure out what to do.  But soon, our lives consisted of feeding, diaper changing and NO sleep. The no sleep thing is something that nobody can truly prepare you for.  I have no idea what bringing home just one baby is like ( I am assuming that it has to be easier than two) but two crying babies round the clock is enough to send someone into a delirious state of mind.  We are now 3 weeks into this whole parenthood journey and I think I am walking around in a dazed fog of delirium and confusion.  My life revolves around the clock, recording what time the babies ate, got a diaper change, and slept.  In between, I try to wash all 16 bottles that were used during the course of the day and keep up with the ever exploding laundry basket.  Thank heavens for take out food and delivery!  I don't know that I have half a mind to even try to cook anything.  Getting a daily shower and my teeth brushed seems like a complete luxury and really only happens every other day at best.  But, I wouldn't trade any of it because being a mommy is what I believe my purpose in life was meant to be.  My children are beautiful children of God and I am so honored to be able to care for them and raise them to know and love the Lord.

Pregnancy Update!

It has been a while since I posted a new blog, but there has been a lot going on with us and the babies.  At my last doctor's appointment, I was measuring as if I was 9 months (and beyond) along with a singleton!  Can you imagine....I am only 7 months!  GASP...what am I going to do with the next 2 months?!?!

Well, my measurement assured me that the babies are growing very healthily and we are in the home stretch!  However, when we went in for a ultrasound a few days ago, it appears that our little Kaitlyn is having some difficulties with her amniotic fluid.  Her fluid appears to be very low and on the doctor's measurement system, her fluid measures at 4.  To give perspective, if it drops to 2, they go in and do an emergency C-Section!  You can imagine the fear that began to well up inside of me.  4 is very close to 2 and at first they could only get a 3 reading on her.  Thank goodness she moved around a little and they found a pocket of fluid that measured 4!  Knox is doing great, and he is practically swimming in his excess of fluid!

So the only help I can provide Kaitlyn is to lie down ALL the time, which means bed rest!  As hard as it is for me to sit still for more than 5 minutes and do absolutely nothing, I am realizing that for the first time in my life, this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with our children.  The doctors gave me two steroid shots to help their lungs develop in the instance that they have to go in and get them sooner than expected.  This will hopefully provide a better NICU opportunity for them, as lung development is usually the biggest hurdle with premies.  If they were to be born at 28 weeks, the babies would have a very good success rate of survival, but the thought of it makes me very emotional.

I have prayed and prayed over these children that God would restore the balance of fluid and that I would be able to carry them to the 36-37 week mark.  I ask that you would join Kris and I in this prayer!

Soooo....no more football games, office time, cleaning, grocery shopping, or really any kind of activity for me.  Oh this is going to be difficult!  I have resorted to writing thank you cards and knitting little hats for my babies.  Thankfully, I have wonderful friends who have offered their help to us and continue to show me that while big city living can be fun....nothing beats the hospitality and sense of community like a good ole' small town.  I know that God has us right where he wants us!  Praise Jesus Christ for knowing and providing exactly what we need all the time!

Pregnancy Comments

I realize that I am pregnant, and I also realize that I am going to be larger than most because I am carrying twins, but it shocks me at what people will actually allow themselves to say.  Here are a few of the "good" ones I have heard lately:

"Oh wow, it looks like you swallowed a huge basketball"
"You are gonna pop soon!"
"Oh I am glad I am not you - you are going to get HUGE"
"Two babies are a lot to handle, are you sure you are ready?"
"Do you need a wheelchair?"

I have to laugh, but inside it makes me think...really, I can't believe you just said that!  On that note, I have only gained 20 lbs, am carrying 2 very healthy babies, and yes I still have 3 more months to go!  I think I am doing fabulous :)

To all the nay sayers my response is....I am pregnant, not handicapped...and yes, I realize that 2 babies are a lot to handle but they are double the blessing and I am absolutely ready for that!  A huge basketball is better than looking like the Michelin Man!  Cheers to pregnancy :)

Birthday Fun

Turning 30 was a milestone in my young life for a few reasons, but mostly because it meant that my 20's are history.  For all who know how tumultuous my 20's were, you know I am breathing a sigh of relief and I know that my 30's will be fabulous!  My birthday celebration started a day early with a wonderful surprise from my mother-in-law, D, who lovingly provided me with someone to come to our house for the entire day and help me organize, move things, and most importantly disinfect our humble abode.  She stayed for 6 hours helping me get everything in order, which at the end of the day put the biggest smile on my face.  I can't explain what a blessing it was to have someone do the heavy lifting and cleaning since I am good for nothing right now except for growing our children.  See our beautiful growing children below!

At noon, my wonderful husband brought me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers which included hydrangeas, roses and daisies.

And in the evening we went out for dinner and had a nice little date night (which has been long over due).  This was all the day before my actual birthday because Kris had a football game on my birthday.  So, my actual birthday seemed like an extra day of love!  I enjoyed a wonderful lunch with my lady co-workers.  Mexican food is always good for this pregnant tummy so long as I have my Pepcid A/C in tow! 

Since Kris had his season opener that night, my father-in-law picked me up and we headed to the football field to support the team.  It was a great night for football...the we had a cold front move in so the heat wasn't so unbearable.  I just love watching Kris in action!  He loves what he does so much.

Here they are right before kick off, getting everyone together:

Here he is rallying his guys:

In night vision (because the lights were so bad at the field) stretching out a cramped up player:

And finally, with a win - and the final score!!!

All in all it was a great birthday!  Cheers to what this next decade will bring....a growing family, the laughter of children, many tears, and less stress (well maybe just a completely different kind of stress).

The "JOYS" of Pregnancy

So, I have been thinking that being while I am joyful about growing our children, I am not so joyful about the effect it takes on my body.  I am absolutely amazed at how many pregnant women have a wonderful glow about them and seem to move around with ease.  I, on the other hand, have had quite a rough time and am starting to think that I don't enjoy the whole "being pregnant" experience.

My pregnancy started off with hypermesis gravidarum (a fancy word for throwing up everything).  Once that calmed down a bit, I began to experience dizzy and fainting spells.  So the doctor ordered me to as much rest as possible.  This made it very difficult for me to be able to fly back to California for a very gracious baby shower that my family was planning for me.  But the health of the babies and myself forced me to stay in good ole Texas!  Now my "joy" is trying to ward off preeclampsia, which is a condition in which I have an elevated blood pressure, experience swelling and a few other unmentionable symptoms.  I go in for lab testing in a few days to make sure that everything is under control.

Needless to say, pregnancy has not been rainbows and butterflies for me, but we are so excited about our growing family!  Here are a few pics to show how well our babies are growing!

10 Weeks

16 weeks

20 weeks

21 weeks

Two buns in the oven

We had been praying for God to bless us with a baby for quite some time and we were so excited to read a positive pregnancy test and get confirmation that we were in-fact expecting.  We had talked about how many children we both ideally would like to have and thought we had a good game plan, but as it has gone with our marriage, just when we make plans, God always has a different plan.  We went in for our first ultrasound at 12 weeks and were so excited to see our baby's heartbeat.  The technician squirted the jelly on my belly and began to move her wand around to find little baby Cauble.  And all of a sudden, I saw TWO little images!  It was confirmed that we were definitely having twins!!!  Kris laughed and I almost hyperventilated from shock.  Once the shock wore off we were elated that God had blessed us so abundantly and we quickly began racking our brains around the responsibility of two infants at one time.

So there they were, Baby A and Baby B!  This was new terminology that we would soon become accustomed to.  We began to wonder if they were boys, girls or one of each!  And by the time our next ultrasound came due at 16 weeks, we found out the genders......

Baby B is a BOY!!!

AND...........

Baby A is a GIRL!!!!

So now we needed to name our little blessings!  Kris wanted our children to share his same initials of KDC, so our babies will be named Knox Dereck Cauble and Kaitlyn Donna Cauble!  We can't wait to hold them, kiss them, and love them!